Existential Crisis, Ocean Drive

I don't know if it is like this every morning in Corpus, but today I woke up very early and the city was filled with white fog. I went out looking for something. A quiet place to read, some coffee. The big green signs on the highway that say

Weber Rd.
Next Exit

..I couldn't read them until I was driving below them, looking up.

I went down Ocean Drive. It is just a street that winds alongside the shore. Because of this fog, I couldn't see the great big ocean and I was very drawn to that. I pulled over to get closer. I stood right before the damn thing, and could only see but 10 feet of water. The water that was visible had taken on the white of the fog, and it all faded together. Only at my feet, there were soft, small waves pushing in my direction.

At first it was beautiful. I could see nothing in my peripheral. There was just giant, gentle white surrounding me and nobody was around. Then a drastic change happened in my mind. The beauty lasted for one minute and then I became very scared. All of this white was frightening. It felt so deep in front of me.. deeper than an ocean. I felt like I was drowning in it.. being sucked in. Though I was standing up, looking straight ahead, I felt like i was looking down - into a place I would fall. A small ripple appeared in the water, most likely it was a fish near the surface. It caused me to jump. I turned around and ran to my car as fast as I could.. scared shitless, like a child in a nightmare.

I drove back onto the road. I've never loved cars, traffic lights and McDonald's so much. No matter what things this world is filled with, even cluttered with at times, I feel lucky to be among them. Though civilization could always use improvement, that it exists at all... it's a goddamn miracle.

So thankful,
Karrie